Those Lousy Bandits Better Stay Home

In exactly one week my wife and I will be going on our honeymoon, a mere two and a half years after we were married.  Originally we planned to head somewhere tropical but since we’d rather not go broke we decided to keep it closer to home. We then planned on spending a full week away from home but after the expense of traveling for my dad’s funeral we decided to cut the week down to four days (thanks dad). I’m not complaining about this, I’m happy to be going anywhere at all, especially after last night.

Last night Nina we were watching Confessions of a Superhero where SPOILER ALERT – The people who dress up as superhero’s on Hollywood Blvd are not Fortune 500 CEO’s.  At one point the Superman impersonator gets married; in costume (it was actually pretty sweet). As part of their vows, Mr. & Mrs. Fake Superman agree to forsake all others. This led to a dispute about our wedding vows, specifically if Nina and I vowed to forsake anyone.  We went to the wedding video to check and it turns out that we didn’t use the term forsake but we did vow to not see other people. I was very disappointed by this but not because I want to marry anyone else. I was disappointed because I was pretty sure that forsaking had something to do with me being allowed to wear a badge and carry a gun.  This is because I was only familiar with the term forsaking through the theme song from High Noon.  I guess vows or no vows; I won’t be named sheriff of an old timey western town anytime soon.  I guess I’ll have to come up with a new long-range career plan.

On the plus side, we’re going on out honeymoon next week, which, now that I think about it, was actually where Gary Cooper was supposed to be going before all of the shit went down in High Noon.  I really hope that bandits don’t show up and mess up our plans, we’ve already waited two and a half years.  Stay home bandits, we need this.



Filed under bethemarriage

5 responses to “Those Lousy Bandits Better Stay Home

  1. Maybe you should wear a badge and carry a gun anyway. I mean, just in case.

  2. Edley

    Unless you sent Frank Miller (either the fictional bad guy or the director) up the river, I’d say you’re in the clear.
    If you did have bandits coming to spoil your honeymoon, however, I’m betting Nina would be right there beside you to fight; she’s no Quaker pussy.

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