Hey Smokeface, Knock it Off

I rarely get preachy on this blog but please bear with me just this once: Tomorrow is The Great American Smokeout a day when Americans who smoke are encouraged to commit to quitting (Canadians can apparently smoke away). As many of you know, I smoked for years before quitting in early 2008 but that is not why I’m talking about it today.  I mention it because my father smoked from the time he was a teenager until the day he died of a heart attack at 54 years old.  Fifty freaking four years old and dead.  I’m sure that had he quit smoking a few years ago he’d still be alive.

Look, you do what you want to do. If you want to smoke I’ll still love you.  I can’t stop you from smoking but consider that when I smoked, I looked like this:

Today, less than 2 years after quitting I look like this:

Isn’t that much better?  I have my own wagon wheel now.  Would you like a wagon wheel? If you quit smoking I will give you a wagon wheel. Do you need another reason?  How about the fact that it’s 2009?

For the record, here is the official Be the Boy method of quitting smoking, feel free to try it:

1- Allow your appendix to become enlarged (Important: do not let it burst).

2- Get hospitalized for emergency surgery, have surgery go wrong.

3- Spend a week in hospital post surgery with morphine drip.

4- While in hospital, don’t smoke.

5- After not smoking for a week, don’t start again. Repeat as needed.

If you’re interested, the full story of my appendix emergency can be found here.



Filed under General Tomfoolery

16 responses to “Hey Smokeface, Knock it Off

  1. Kymmi

    Amen. I’m so, so, so sorry to hear about your father. 54 – that’s insane.

    I smoked for over 15 years – serious smoking, none of that onesie twosie crap. Here is my method for quitting smoking.

    1 – get pregnant

    2 – google “smoking while pregnant” – pay attention to images

    3 – cry at the thought of what you are d0ing to that mass of cells you hope becomes a baby

    4 – throw everything relating to smoking away

    5 – repeat step 2 as necessary

    it’s been 6 years now and still holding the line. Here’s looking at making this a holiday tradition.

  2. sonyabegonya

    I used a different method to quit smoking.

    1. Have sex. (use birth control)

    2. Get pregnant.

    3. Stop smoking while pregnant. (also, stop drinking coffee, eating sushi, and buying sexy skinny clothes)

    4. When baby is born, don’t smoke around it.

    5. Don’t start smoking again at all.

    I personally do not recommend that one should ‘repeat as needed’. That would be icky.

    I would never let my kid see me smoke or even smell smoke on me. I’m pretty sure that I am cured:)

  3. I am so happy I’ve never been addicted to smoking (I can take it or leave it) since as a chick, pregnancy seems to be the only cure! :)

  4. jen

    my dad just recently quit due to some heart related issues and i’m glad he’s FINALLY taking this step. he says he’s eating a lot of peanuts because it helps. whatever floats your boat, just don’t start again…and those better be unsalted ’cause your blood pressure sucks.

    i was on and off for the past 2 years but this year I can awesomely announce that I will probably never have another cigarette again.

    how did I quit this past January? my boyfriend dumped me. weird. I thought it would have had the opposite effect.

    congrats on sticking to it. :)

  5. I don’t miss cigarettes at all. But I kinda wish I still smoked so I could get a wagon wheel. Just imagine how fine it would be to have a wagon wheel like that? I can’t.

  6. If I take up smoking again, and then quit, can I have a wagon wheel?

  7. I remember that picture, I thought you had a cool Donald Sutherland flavour. Still, well done for kicking the habit and gaining a fine wagon wheel/stripy sweater combo.

  8. pepper!

    i quit last year at this time, can i get a retroactive wagon wheel?

  9. betheboy

    Sadly my budget does not allow for retroactive wagon wheels.

  10. aliastaken

    My dad quit smoking by carrying around a balloon. Every time he felt like smoking, he would blow the balloon up as fast as possible, so that he felt light-headed and out of breath. He claims that curbed his urge to smoke. I guess I believe him.

  11. I wish it worked the same way with eating too much. My dad quit his casual pipe smoking habit easily when he had his first heart attack. He went to his grave ignoring the same doctor encouraging him to lose weight. And I successfully dieted when his health really started going down hill, but seem to have picked up the sugar and snacking habit again in the meantime.

  12. TheOtherWill

    I just hit the one year mark myself,where is my wagon wheel?
    I’d be happy to just get Cookies Come and Get it Triangle :)

  13. Think about it this way if you were a red head
    they have days “beat up a Ginger” so it could
    be worse.

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