Breaking News From My House

As many of you know, my wife and I are fascinated by the other residents of the building we live in.  Some people may think that we exaggerate the exploits of our neighbors and the rotating band of drifters who gravitate to our building but I promise you that every word is true.  For those of you new to our hobo phenomenon I’ll catch you up  quickly:

We have a collection of strange people who hang out at and around our home.

They like to dance and give handjobs.

Our hobos embrace diversity.

Need junk?  They can sell you some.

Need records?  They got that covered too.

You can call them hobos but you can’t call them lazy.

Now that we’re all caught up I’ve got some big hobo news.  On Saturday we noticed there was someone new drinking beer out by the garage in back.  Sometimes it’s hard to tell if someone is back there on purpose or if they are just lost so we let him be.  On Sunday my wife spotted him again, this time with our neighbors (who serve as the gatekeepers to the backyard hobo life).  She was in a hurry so she just waved as she passed by but not before noticing that the new guy didn’t speak great English and the neighbors were trying to teach him some key English phrases.  I asked her for more info:

What language does he speak

– I couldn’t tell.

What we’re they teaching him to say?

-Chuck Mangione

A few hours later I we we’re getting ready for bed when we heard the unmistakable sound of someone swearing their head off in in another language outside our window.  We peeked outside and saw that it was the newest member of our backyard community.  Our hobos must have gone continental because I think he was speaking French.

Welcome new French hobo.  We look forward to sharing baguettes and Serge Gainsbourg karaoke with you.  Please do not pee on our cars.

frenchmanArtists rendition of our new hobo.

H/T on the photo to Not An Endive

UPDATE: It was brought to my attention that our newest friend may not be French but in fact a really drunk Italian hobo.  In that case, change the flag and remove the beret in the picture above.

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19 Comments

Filed under General Tomfoolery

19 responses to “Breaking News From My House

  1. LOL omg. I have to come back now and translate for you. Or at least the swear words. And don’t French Hobos drink cheap red wine?

  2. Chuck Mangione.

    That kills me.

  3. Are you sure he’s a hobo? You know the French don’t bathe regularly anyway. Maybe he’s just visiting.

  4. He’s gonna oui-oui all over the flowers, isn’t he?

  5. vintagecaveman

    You’re getting a regular hobo UN back there.

  6. I was in your hood this morning. Obviously I should have driven by. DAMN IT!

  7. In some way or form, your new French speaking hobo neighbor needs to get together with the younger Slack brother J mime. There just might be comedy gold there.

    Also, is it possible he’s not from France, maybe some other itinerant French speaker? (http://is.gd/jRUT)

  8. He’s not from France. However, my husband is a stealerpants. That is all.

  9. betheboy

    @slackmistress I’ve stolen nothing except your heart. Unless you count the $50 I stole from that blind lady because I took that too.

    She’s not going to miss it.

  10. What is it about you neighborhood that attracts foreign hobos? Is there a foreign hobo magnet somewhere in the building, and is it made of vino?

  11. boski93

    Well I all goes well with the Le’ hobo, and I hope he is not cranking his Boxcar Paif at odd hours.

  12. Paul L.

    Uhhh, I think you mean FREEDOM. He was speaking FREEDOM.

  13. Oh my god, this is wrong. Also, hilarious

  14. kim

    You should sell tickets to your backyard.

  15. @thelossadjuster actually we shouldn’t talk. we were unemployed hobos drinking cheap wine there once too sooo…..

  16. Paul M.

    Glad you found out he was from Italy.
    Because if he did speak French this person
    may have been French Canadian from our
    Province of Quebec here in Canada.

  17. When I first saw your Twitter tweets about Hobos, I thought you were referring to a band. (Everyone give a big hand to The Hobos!)

    I think it would be really classy for you to serve them Jet Puff marshmallows on COCKTAIL skewers. ; )

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