Be The Boy Holidays 2008 – Homesick Edition

Things I Will Miss By Not Going Home to Long Island For The Holidays

  • Drinking at least 6 cups of Dunkin Donuts coffee a day followed by 6 more cups from 7-11.  I won’t touch the coffee from 7-11 in Los Angeles but on Long Island I love it.
  • Temporarily regaining my Long Island accent and answering to the name Sam (that’s what my family calls me).
  • The one day of the year we can sit on my grandmother’s couch (she leaves the plastic on but it’s still cool).
  • Hearing my wisdom of my parents (i.e.- “It’s only a lie if they find out you’re lying.”)
  • Counting the number of times Mom refers to me by my brother’s name and the number of times I answer to it.
  • Showing my wife every house we ever lived in and the ones we had to move out of under suspicious circumstances.
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8 Comments

Filed under General Tomfoolery

8 responses to “Be The Boy Holidays 2008 – Homesick Edition

  1. Your parents sounds very wise. My mother said, “If you do NOTHING all day while your husband’s at work, at least make the bed. Looks like you’ve cleaned the whole house.” (35 years ago)

  2. Aw. I’m always all sentimental for familial dysfunction this time of year.

  3. things i would miss if i didn’t go home for the holidays… by parent even!

    dad’s house:

    -mimosas at 6am
    -margaritas at 4pm
    -martinis while watching “Love, Actually” (my dad’s all time favorite Christmas movie) at 9pm
    -D, my new mother buying pumpkin rolls from the lady at the Mexican Resturant D worked at for 20+ years
    -three fat cats and my dad waking everyone up at 6am to open gifts and watch “the fire log show” on tv

    Mom’s:

    -Mom decorating the Antelope head and the boars head that my stepdad killed and mounted on the walls. (the heads have names, I havent bothered to learn)

    -meat filled meat food

    -getting told I’m fat and being bitched at that it’s why I’m not married

    -taking SHOTS of champagne in the kitchen with my mom in secret, lord knows they don’t want to know we’re getting drunk.

    -the dog getting better gifts than me.

  4. kim

    It’s ok Will- Just get hammered and you can reminisce all of those memories to the lovely slackmistress. (I strongly suggest that she have a few cocktails too) Dysfunctional families SHINE during the holidays! Bless my crazy parents.

  5. Mmmmm…DD coffee. I always drink a lot of it when we visit the Northeast. My step-dad does the same thing w/his accent when he visits his family in L.I.–and even a little when they visit him. It’s all “yous guys,” etc.

    I’ve been ODing on Friday Night Lights online. I notice after watching a couple of episodes in a row, I start slipping back into my old Southern accent. *shudders*

  6. Paul M.

    I too have had my share of bad coffee going
    to friends and my family on holidays.
    But up here it’s Tim Hortons not Dunkin Donuts.

  7. I miss Dunkin Donuts iced caramel lattes – can’t get ’em in Australia :(

    For the past like 5 years, tradition in my family has been to have Potato Latkes on Christmas Eve and homemade tortillas for tacos on Christmas; that’s what I’ll miss (this is my first holiday season away from home)

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