A Bad Idea I’d Like To Share

It’s been a while since I’ve had a really bad idea but I had one yesterday that I’ll share with you because it’s guaranteed to make no money and could potentially ruin people.  OK, here it is: I’d like to create a version of Rock Band or Guitar Hero featuring the best bands ever performing their worst songs.  The trick is that they have to be terrible songs that people are familiar with, this means no outtakes or b-sides, we’re talking nothing but the worst songs that actually appeared on records.

Imagine a kid on his or her birthday getting Rock Band only to discover that it’s “The Worst Songs Edition”  and then having to master The Beatles “Revolution # 9 in order to unlock the Replacements “Back to Back” ending in a guitar battle of The Stooges “LA Blues”.  That would be no fun at all.

Feel free to steal this idea and create this game, or at least suggest songs that would fit in it.

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18 Comments

Filed under Music Nerdery

18 responses to “A Bad Idea I’d Like To Share

  1. Did you ever see the SNL sketch “Songs That Ruined Everything”? I’ve been trying to find it online (no luck so far), but I did find a transcript: http://snltranscripts.jt.org/97/97hsongs.phtml

  2. betheboy

    @Chia I remember that when it first aired. Wasn’t Will Ferrell playing Dennis DeYoung? It’s on the Best of Will Ferrell I think.

  3. kim

    Did Livin’ La Vida Loca have guitars in it?

  4. kim

    No wait! Forget Ricky Martin, “Two Hearts” by Phil Collins (not the cool old Genesis Phil, the bloated creepy radio friendly gag inducing Phil)

  5. vintagecaveman

    John Fogerty’s “Centerfield”?

  6. “Back to Back” was the first Replacements song I ever heard (a friend put it on a mix tape for me.) It was hate at first listen.

    It wasn’t until I was in someone’s dorm room YEARS later and I was WHAT IS THIS?

    Yeah.

    Anyway, I’d like to nominate REM’s “Shiny Happy People,” Iggy Pop’s “Candy,” and whatever Bowie sang in “Labyrinth.”

  7. betheboy

    @Slackmistress- Back to Back on a mix tape? That’s a lousy mix no matter what else is on it.

  8. AJ

    Great topic, Will.

    I think I’d just make things simple and go with anything ever recorded by MÖTLEY CRÜE…

    BTW, GREAT link on the SNL Transcripts site by ChiaLynn! Never been there before, and I’m still laughing…

  9. Would not be complete without The Clash’s “Mensforth Hill.”

    Heck, we could throw in the the entire “Cut the Crap” album.

  10. TheOtherWill

    Anything by Phil Collins
    Paul Mcartney Hands Across the Water
    *(The Doors …The End)
    *This one not because it is bad but it is soo long the kids hands will fall off.
    It unlocks Ina Gotta Davida which you have to play imediately after or you have to redo The Doors track.
    This unlocks Free Bird..you see where I am going with this.

  11. kim

    @The other will- could that joyous little set be followed by ‘Cotton eyed Joe” extended mix?

  12. betheboy

    @ Jay B. – Re: Cut The Crap, the record never happened. Never. Did not exist.

  13. Good idea, Will… How about…

    David Bowie-“Shining Star (Makin’ My Love)” (A rap by Mickey Rourke? Kill me.)
    Marilyn Manson-“Heart-Shaped Glasses” (Creepy and awful.)
    Neil Young-“Safeway Cart” (I’m sure it means something, but it comes off as really cheesy.)
    Europe-“The Final Countdown” (Honestly, one of the worst songs ever.)
    The Who-“Who Are You?” (No, seriously, that is a crap song.)
    Weezer-“Beverly Hills” (Where hath my soul gone?)
    Kings Of Leon-“Sex On Fire” (Just embarrassing…)

  14. This is an especially bad idea because it exposes the entire Lenny Kravitz oevure to an unsuspecting young audience. I know you don’t want to have kids, but do you want to traumatize them?

  15. JT

    Anything by Aerosmith post-Pump.

  16. Edley

    Van Halen – “Right Now,” or any other song they recorded with Hagar

    Bryan Adams – “Everything I Do, I Do It for You” and everything he recorded after that

    Elton John – “The One” and everything he recorded after that

    and just for Will, “Piano Man” by Billy “The Bruce of Long Island” Joel…cheap bastard.

  17. Mr808tv

    While I know you will say every song is their worst, I submit: Rush – “I think I’m going bald” as written by Geddy Lee in 1975 and who, to this day, has not gone bald.

    I also second your wife’s nomination for REM’s “Shiny Happy People” and for that matter, any other song featuring a member of the B-52’s.

  18. Brian Garrett

    The SNL commercial “Songs That Ruined Everything” is up on YouTube right now.

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