In all the years I’ve lived in Los Angeles not one kid has knocked on my door on Halloween. This didn’t stop me from buying Halloween candy for a few years, but I bought what I liked because I knew I was going to be the only one eating it. Eventually I stopped doing that but it’s never been an issue. Still, I worry every year that a kid is going to show up and I’m going to feel guilty for not having candy and I’m going to give them the TV. Then my wife will come home and she’ll notice that the TV is gone. My plan to hide the loss of the TV (which she bought) by replacing it with a cardboard box covered in pictures cut out of magazines will fool some people, but not her. Then she and I will have the following conversation again:
Did you sell the TV?
-Of course not, two eight year old knocked on the door so I gave them the TV.
-Because we had no candy.
Laugh all you want but my wife can probably follow my flawed logic well enough that she’d understand why I did it. I’m not saying she thinks I’m right, I’m just saying she knows who she’s married to. I do ridiculous things sometimes, but at least I’m consistent.