Best Of the Worst Reasons To Stay Home

Despite being very sick today I did not stay home.  I rarely take days off.  However in my lifetime I have, on rare occasions, been forced to take days off from work or school for unusual reasons.  The reasons below include some from adulthood and some from childhood, I leave it to you to figure out how old I was when each of these happened.

Reasons I Have Stayed at Home

  1. Wanted to go out for pancakes
  2. Baseball opening day
  3. It was 2 for 1 adult video day
  4. Working an email to a girl I liked and I was too drunk to drive that morning
  5. Mean looking dog out by my car
  6. Needed to buy stamps
  7. Was playing video games
  8. Accidentally drank laundry detergent

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28 Comments

Filed under General Tomfoolery

28 responses to “Best Of the Worst Reasons To Stay Home

  1. i can’t help but wonder how you accidentally drank laundry detergent. my dad accidentally drank a tiny cup of shampoo my mom set out by the sink to wash her hair with before their honeymoon. she laughed.

  2. There are actual 2for1s on Adult Films?

  3. I was sooooo with you up until #8. I’m REALLY hoping that one is a childhood episode. And even so, I’m worried.

  4. I once missed a field trip at school because I was at home watching (forbidden) cartoons and lost track of time.

  5. betheboy

    Janellest & Belinda I was 14 when I drank the detergent, old enough to know better. I was sleepwalking. I just poured a glass of soap and drank up.

    Casey – Not anymore, the store closed.

    Green – That’s a day well spent.

  6. I didn’t know you pulled a Nadia. And I think it’s funny that a dog will keep you from work but wearing your shirt inside out won’t.

    Hope you feel less sick soon.

  7. ive honestly never stayed home from work for a fun or interesting reason. instead i would take hangover naps under my desk and lock my door.

  8. well then number 4 was waaay worth it.

  9. Pingback: Through The Looking Glass » Blog Archive » Stop me if you’ve heard this one…

  10. I had a weird craving to eat laundry detergent when I was pregnant with my second child.

    I’m feelin’ you is all.

  11. How does one accidentally drink laundry detergent? Inquiring minds want to know.

  12. betheboy

    Miss Grace – You tell yourself “Don’t drink detergent” and them do it anyway.

    Slackmistress – No it wasn’t.

  13. My high school French teacher couldn’t come to work one day because “bears have me surrounded.”
    He was a little looney.

    I called in late because a trash truck was blocking the alley and my boss didn’t believe me.

  14. kim

    I rarely lie- I’m just not interested in starting the habit so though I haven’t done the fake call in sick thing, at many jobs over the years I have called in “uninterested”
    oddly enough I’ve never been fired.

  15. melissa

    I called in to work once because my power went out for about ten minutes. I said the outage was shutting down a whole line of the commuter train I took and they totally bought it. Then I think I went to the drive through and bought cheeseburgers.

    I used to be more of a dick.

  16. I think my favorite is “Mean looking dog out by my car.” I want to use it someday.

    I came in WAY late to work one day because I was backing out of my boyfriend at the time’s steep driveway and got stuck. My back bumper was resting on the street and my front wheels were in slippery mud. It took us a long time and a lot of spare wood to get me out. No one believed me.

  17. Heeeeee “spare wood.”

  18. betheboy

    Double hee-hee at the spare wood.

    The Spare Wood sounds like the dirtiest BBQ place ever.

  19. JT

    I was once very late to work because a crazy lady got into my car while I was pumping gas and wouldn’t get out until I gave her a ride back to her hotel.

    It was one of the scariest mornings of my life (this was before the prevalence of cell phones.)

  20. I didn’t go on the bus once because the grass to walk out to the stop, in front of my house, was wet and i had on flip-flops. I thought it was gross to have wet-flippy-floppy feet.

    Also, the pancake one, if they were good, then it was totaaaaaaly worth it.

  21. LOL..the mean looking dog by the car is something I could totally see myself doing!

  22. i was going to ask how you accidentally drink laundry soap, then i actually read the comments so i’m not going to ask that.

    i am going to refer you to podcast of this american life, wherein they discuss weird things people do in their sleep. this one guy jumped out of his hotel window while asleep. others that would beat their spouses up, eat weird things, etc.

    it’s called fear of sleep and i was laughing out loud while listening to the comedian (the one who jumped out of a window).

  23. Andrew

    Number 7 doubles for almost all of my sick days.

  24. This is cracking me up. I had a roommate once call in because she said I’d been in a car accident and I was in the hospital. She didn’t bother to tell me this until after she’d called, and all day long I was a little freaked out about getting in a car! I love the “mean dog at my car one” …

  25. You know what I like about your girl? That she has enough of a sense of humor to tell the world that she was also #5 even when everyone knows it’s not true.

    And I know for a fact that you were a full grown man-boy when #5 happened.

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