Earlier today, someone who knows me and sees me everyday said the following:
“Want some coffee? Wait you don’t drink coffee.”
The second part of the statement above may be the most inaccurate thing anyone has ever said about me because if you have ever met me you know that I drink way too much coffee. Here are some things they could have said about me that would have been closer to the truth.
“Will is a 50 foot tall cyclops”
“Will loves dining with little people.”
“Will hopes the Yankees win the World Series”
All of those statements are inaccurate but none of them are as wildly inaccurate as the coffee line. Of course, I shouldn’t care, after all if the only misjudgment anyone makes about me involves coffee I’m doing ok but it bothered me because it felt like I was being teased. To me,“Want some coffee? Wait you don’t drink coffee.” sounds a lot like one of the following:
Would you like this winning lottery ticket? No you hate money.
The porno bus broke down in front of our house. I had it towed because you hate boobs.
You see how that feels? First you think something good is about to happen, then you find out it’s not while also learning that someone knows nothing about you. It’s not the best feeling in the world.
Out of curiosity what is the most inaccurate thing a person could say about you?
P.S. – My feelings were not really hurt, I’m exaggerating to make a point, but you probably know that.