A Stupid Thing I Did Today

You wanna hear about the stupid thing I did today? Get this, I hurt my knee this evening. I believe the correct medical term is “Hyper extended” but in plain English, I fucked it up. That’s not the stupid part though, the stupid part is how I did it. I somehow managed to hyper extend my knee while waking up from a nap. I’m such an idiot.

Let me explain, when I got home my wife was leaving the house so I found a spot on the couch and promptly dozed off. I woke up when I heard her unlocking the door a short while later and I tried to do the old “I wasn’t sleeping, I’ve been up thinking of presents to buy you” move. I quickly tried to stand up but I was still half asleep so I slipped and somehow hurt myself while trying not to fall. This is the dumbest couch related injury since the guy from The Fat Boys died when he fell off the couch (true story).

While I heal I suggest reading blogs written by people who aren’t dumb, start with this guy.



Filed under General Tomfoolery

24 responses to “A Stupid Thing I Did Today

  1. Well that sucks. I suggest icing (20 minutes on, 20 off) and keeping your leg up on a couple of pillows with a rolled towel under the hurt knee to keep it bent through the night. Kind of a pain to force yourself to sleep in a way that caters to an injury but … best way to go.

    When you get up in the morning put all the weight on the other foot and slowly shift half onto the hurt side to see how it feels. Good luck.

  2. I will never laugh at stupid injuries as I’ve had many of my own. Someday, I’ll tell you the story of hitting my face on a door jamb right before guests arrived and getting a red, swollen face. It wasn’t awesome.

  3. bongo

    I did fucking worse about three weeks ago. I not only hyperextended my right knee, but somehow fucked up my left one on the way down. (I was too focused on the right to even realize anything was happening on the left at the time.)

    I’ve got a nice orthopedist visit lined up for the day after tomorrow.

    Fucking knees.

  4. Yeah, ice it, take Ibuprofen, do some stretching. And buy your wife some presents for god’s sake so this kind of thing doesn’t happen again.

  5. Best. Injury. Ever.
    Take care.

  6. I broke my finger once swatting at a cobweb in the corner of my room.


  7. I totally ate shit on a balcony a couple of Saturdays ago because I was drunk and doing ballet poses on the railing (like being at the barre) and my boyfriend was telling some wild story behind me. One “big arms” (wide spread arms) into the story he barely poked me and i fell down.

    skinned my knee, and elbow. bruised alot of the rest of me. spilled vodka in my hair. LOL

  8. A likely story.

    C’mon, fess up. You were cleaning Jeff Kent’s truck again, weren’t you?

  9. betheboy

    Jay – I swear I was nowhere near Jeff Kent’s truck, or his motorcycle.

  10. That’s exactly how I broke my foot. Except that I was really drunk and I fell off the toilet.

  11. Will,

    Dont feel that bad about it. Here are some of the stupid injuries I have:

    Right hand middle finger, scarred. Cause? Cut on the edge of a metal scuba dive mask when I was 14.

    Left hand middle finger, scarred. Cause? Cut on rough metal edge of computer case when I was 18. Obviously I didnt learn.

    I’ll have to take a photo of my OH SO SEXAY scars for you and Nina sometime later today. It will provide endless lols. =)

  12. Once I burned my nipple making tea.

  13. And having said that…

    When I was about sixteen, I was reading in bed late at night, and for some reason, I’d unplugged the end of the phone cord that went into the phone, but not the end that goes into the wall. (I must have been ducking a call.) Anyway, I absent-mindedly stuck the end of the cord into my mouth and – ow! That really hurt!

    I looked at the fitting, and noticed it had little grooves in it, between the wires. “Huh,” I thought. “I wonder if that was a mild electric shock, or if the end of my tongue got caught between those grooves?”

    Only one way to find out, right? So I stuck the cord back in my mouth.

    “Yep, that was an electric shock. And now I have TWO blisters on the end of my tongue to prove it.”

  14. jen

    I’ve just recently stabbed myself in the shower.

    Yeah. By accident.

  15. melissa

    I did that to my knee getting off the bed. I know exactly how you feel. I think I was even trying to act like I wasn’t just laying around reading, too.

  16. In preparation for my 3rd grade Invention Contest, I drove a pair of scissors through my hand while constructing my soon-to-be award-winning, entirely original dishwashing-device with a sponge attached to a stick filled with dish-soap.

    I had no idea 1) that my cheap scissors couldn’t cut through thick plastic and 2) that this sponge-thing totally already existed.

  17. I just checked my copy of “The Theodoric of York Medical Manual” and I think what you have is that there is a toad or maybe a small dwarf living in your knee.

  18. betheboy

    Boski – I better get to the nearest medieval barber and get that looked at.

  19. Most recent (and believe me, there’ve been plenty), I came home from a run and laid down on the floor to stretch. My cell phone started blowing up, so I picked it up. Turns out the text message was really exciting, my hands began to shake and *WHAP* cell phone met lip. It actually bled.

  20. I’ll not bore you–or try to make you laugh–about my own stupid injuries. But I will say that I’m really sorry you got hurt…um, waking up and pretending not to sleep.

  21. vintagecaveman

    Wow, ‘not dumb’. First time those words have been used in conjunction to describe me…

    Thanks, man.

  22. In front of 300 people, I dislocated my knee on the dance floor.

  23. Sizzle definitely wins.

    I broke one of my pinky toes by running a full grocery cart over said toe. Clean break.

    Doctor: See that joint there on the end? Yeah, that’s not really a joint. How’d you do that?

    Me: Uh. I dunno…

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