One of My Other Brothers

I’ve got a brother named Mike who appears in this blog from time to time, usually in stories involving tequila and trouble.  Of all of my brothers and sisters (there are six of us) Mike tends to get mentioned the most because he’s closest to me in age (I’m about about 2 and a half years older than him, while my youngest sister in 20 years younger than me) and we’ve done  a lot of stupid things together but I should probably take the time to tell you about the rest of the family.  Starting today I’m going to do just that and first up will be my brother Dylan.

Dylan and I are 13 years apart but his birth coincided with the first, and to date last golden age of my family. Filled with hope and a baby, my mom and her new husband moved us on up Jefferson’s style from the squalor of the house by the train tracks to a real live middle class neighborhood. At the new house there were no car parts on the lawn and the only people who were going to pee in the bushes was us. It was good times, my sister and I call this “The time we had food”.

Eventually, the golden age faded and soon we we’re back on the fringes of another town but it was fun while it lasted. Even though we were poor again we didn’t mind because we had this cool little kid around.

Here are some ways in which that awesome kid has turned into an awesome adult:

  • He once use the phrase “my perverted ninja tactics are awesome” in a conversation with our mother.
  • When he went to his senior prom he wore a suit made of duct tape.
  • He once thwarted an armed robbery by doing the old “karate chop to the wrist of the assailant and grab the gun” move.
  • Last year, when we went home for a party, he brought two dates.

When he’s not doing awesome things he sometimes updates his blog, which you can find here.



Filed under General Tomfoolery

6 responses to “One of My Other Brothers

  1. Joseph J. Finn

    Two dates? That’s hardcore, man.

  2. Please tell Dylan I am 31 and have never liked coffee, but instead always get hot chocolate. Also please let him know that Dunkin Donuts coffee will taste better than Starbucks. I tried to leave him a comment directly but it didn’t work, sorry that means more work for you.

  3. So is he, like, available? I’m interested in pursuing legal membership in the BetheSlackmisttress family. Cause I don’t think we can file adoption papers since I’m 27.

  4. Paul

    Your brother sounds like an “interesting” person.

  5. I swear, coolness must run in the Boy family.

  6. THAT’s the kind of guy I would’ve liked to go to the prom with. I was forced to go and it was ugly.

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