Memories can come up at the most inopportune times. While sitting in the dentist’s chair on Thursday morning an old memory came back to me, a memory of girls with nice teeth and miniature men.
Let me back up for a second. A full decade before The Slackmistress and I met I used to date a girl who had excellent teeth (The Slackmistress does too by the way). Her teeth were very nice and I had only heard of the dentist at that time so I was jealous and amazed at the same time. I developed a theory about why her teeth were so nice: I theorized there were tiny men who lived inside of her mouth and they took care of her teeth. I know it sounds stupid but it was a joke and since we had just started dating when I thought of it we laughed about it in the way that new couples do. Of course, only I could see the two guys, who were very tiny and wore overalls and construction hats.
I hadn’t thought of this joke in years but on Thursday morning, while I was sitting in the dentist chair with my mouth full of instruments I remembered the two tiny men and I started to laugh. When the dental assistant asked what was going on I started to explain and then stopped. I couldn’t explain it because no one would understand why I invented two imaginary tiny workers. Also the fake workers were gay and liked to do it when they weren’t fixing teeth. My former girlfriend didn’t like the idea of them having sex when they should have been cleaning her teeth but I assured that it was only on off hours and purely imaginary.
I don’t expect this to make sense to anyone but I got a laugh out of the memory.
Also, I need a retainer…at 34 years old. I am going to bill my parents for this since they should have taken care of this 25 years ago.