If This Ever Was Really Kansas

You know what I’ve discovered lately?

That this blog has changed the way I talk about myself, specifically when it comes to people I haven’t seen in a while.

Lately I’ve been reconnecting with people I went to school with and when they ask me; “What have you been up to?” I can’t lie because they can find all of the details here. I knew I should have written fake posts about being an astronaut or at least exercised some editorial restraint when it came to talking about the many years when my life was an absolute grease fire (or as my wife called it, a charming disaster).  Live and learn I suppose but on the bright side my train wreck has as least been entertaining, at least I hope it has been.

Now, when someone from back home asks me what I’ve been up to I’m going to just tell them the truth. “Things have not gone according to plan, if there ever was a plan. In fact my life is a lot like the Wizard of Oz: I’m far from home and I don’t understand anything yet somehow there’s a happy ending…but I’m not wearing a gingham dress”.



Filed under General Tomfoolery

10 responses to “If This Ever Was Really Kansas

  1. betheboy

    Also, I have a dog and gay guys think I’m cool.

  2. I know exactly how you feel. At least the gay guys can make you feel sexy though. They just want me to help them pick out clothes.

  3. Referring to the rough patches in your life as a ‘grease fire’ has officially been adopted by yours truly. Never has a more accurately-descriptive term for a bad year (or five) been coined.

  4. Paul L.

    Life not going according to plan — check.
    Don’t understand anything — check.
    Lovely wife — check.
    Sounds like Home to me.

  5. “Grease Fire”, huh?

    Good to know what to call it when it stops by for awhile…

  6. You’re not a grease fire. And if you are, well, that’s why I keep baking soda within reach.

  7. Maybe you should put some further consideration into getting a gingham dress….

  8. Liz

    You aren’t wearing the red gingham dress, but how about the ruby slippers…I bet you look great in a nice pair of sparkly red pumps!!!

  9. Liz TOTALLY stole my comment. FUCKPANTS!

  10. If your plan lands you in Kansas, it was probably a shitty plan to start with. I live in Kansas, it’s really not worth it.

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