Clearly I’m Doing It Wrong

I caught up with one of me neighbors recently who informed me that he was going to be gone for a few months because he was going to Italy and Switzerland.

Good for him.

Here’s what I don’t understand about this:

My neighbor doesn’t have a job. I don’t mean he had a job and lost it, I mean NO job for the past 8 years and he’s traveling to Europe to meet our other neighbor who also has no job but has been in Italy for two months already.

The question is: What am I doing wrong?

It seems that my wife and I work ourselves sick in order to pay the rent, pay our insurance, pay our bills, put gas in the car etc…then, if we’re lucky, we have enough left over to take ourselves out to dinner once every two weeks. Our neighbors on the other hand do nothing much and travel the world. This is probably coming off as if I’m jealous but I’m more confused then jealous.

Maybe we’re suckers for doing things the right way.  Maybe we should all just quit our jobs and travel the world.



Filed under General Tomfoolery

29 responses to “Clearly I’m Doing It Wrong

  1. I don’t get it either. But if someone would like to tell me the secret, I AM LISTENING. I think I would be very good at spending money without having to earn it.

  2. betheboy


    I just don’t get it. Apparently hanging around my building shirtless while drinking beer is the way to see the world. My mistake has been that I keep my shirt on.

  3. I’m taking my top off and coming over!

  4. melissa

    If you find out the secret, email me immediately.

  5. Maybe you’ve never heard of the international hobo exchange program?

  6. betheboy

    JustJenn – So are we getting some Italian or Swiss layabout to come stay with us?

    I’m not cool with that.

  7. One flash of my boob and you are trying to get me to hang out topless at your place!

  8. Yes. Look forward to watches and cheese. That’s how the Swiss roll. Oh and the shirtlessness. Even international hobos have standards.

  9. betheboy

    Annika – Go Team boobies.

    JustJenn – You said swiss roll. Like the Little Debbie snack cakes.

  10. Sure we can all quit our jobs and travel the world but then where would our funds come from?

    But your right? I wonder where their funds come from that allow them to travel so much?

    It would be nice. But you are not doing anything wrong. We work hard for what we got and that should make any man/woman proud.

  11. i’m fairly certain all you need to do is get a credit card (or eight), use up all the credit available on all cards and then declare bankruptcy. then, start over if you need to.

    i personally know a couple of people that used this method and it seems to have worked well for them.

    and, no one had to get naked.

  12. betheboy

    Daily Piglet – It’s not credit cards as the one I spoke to yesterday doesn’t have any. They both deal in cash only.

  13. I suggest we all get together and hang out shirtless on your lawn until someone comes along and gives us money. You supply the beer, I’ll bring the folding chairs.

  14. Stuology

    –>They both deal in cash only.<–

    There it is then. They run an underground, black market hobo racket. They’re smuggling them in from Europe.

  15. Why is it always somebody’s neighbor? I agree, who are these people?

    My friend’s parents don’t travel the world but they did build a giant castle, drawbridge, moat, towers, and all. Apparently they created a fitness program for prisoners and sold it for millions. So if you want to be the next Jane Fonda of criminals, Europe is all yours.

  16. Well, I’m a little bit jealous.

  17. Paul L.

    Then who’d fly the plane?

  18. betheboy

    Paul L. We’ll take boats.

  19. You my friend have just witnessed what I like to call the “Kramer Contingent”.

    (I like to name things…)

  20. wealthy relatives living in far off places? that’s mostly how it works for everyone I know. And I am jealous. I have to save money- how boring and uneventful. Maybe I’m bitter too.

  21. My neighbor is also traveling through Europe at the moment. As far as I know, she also has no job. She says she’s an “investor.” I asked her what she invests in, and she said she’s not really investing at the moment. Ok ….

    Clearly, the key to being able to live the rich idle life and travel around Europe is to be a neighbor.

  22. Try saying this: “I’m a consultant.”

    En français: “Je suis un conseiller.”

    In italiano: “Sono un consulente.”

  23. My rastafarian former neighbor Survive Freedom (that’s what it said on his mail) was on disability and collected da gub’ment money even though he seemed perfectly healthy to me. He had two cars and a satellite dish while my lame ass actually worked two jobs to cover the bills. “Disability” is such a grey area. I think the Fauxbos are on “disability.”

  24. betheboy

    Laurie Ann- I’d think that too excecpt they aren’t US citizens.

  25. Clearly they’re in the mafia.

  26. Goddamn FARC “revolutionaries!” Always running around with their shirts off…

  27. i’m a neighbor…who doesn’t have a job. i’m going to france in september. i tend to wear my shirt when i go outside though.

    (my husband pays the bills around here…i just blog.)

  28. You’re not alone, Boy. We’re also on that very crowded boat. Work, pay bills, drive shitty cars, work some more, occasional pizza, more work.

    If you figure out what we’re doing wrong, please let me know.

  29. Pingback: Glossary of Terms « Vintage Caveman

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