Does Your Family Do This?

Last week, in the comments section of a post, my sister and I started bickering over some family issues. It quickly devolved into name calling (see comments by The Girl and my replies). We do this from time to time and it’s not in anger, it’s just the way we talk to each other. Case in point, here is an email exchange we had recently about thank you notes:

My Email:

Hey, I made the mistake of promising to do something so I’m calling on you for backup.  I need some addresses so that we can finish sending out thank you notes, when I say we I mean Nina because she’s the classy one between us.  She’s asked me to call mom several times to get the addresses but I haven’t done it  Can you help me out on this?  I need addresses for the following people [NAMES REDACTED]: It’s been a while since we were home and I don’t want them to think Nina is ungrateful.  They already know I am.

Her Response:

Jerkface-


Certainly. I have to put it off until later this afternoon but will aim to have them to you (Nina) for the weekend.

Oh and I’d never think you’d write them. Marrying class doesn’t mean you have it- no one expects it from you.

I assume this is just how all families communicate.  Honestly there’s usually more name calling and swearing.

Does your family do this or is it just mine?

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18 Comments

Filed under Family

18 responses to “Does Your Family Do This?

  1. Oh yeah, my family totally talks to eachother that way. You have the ‘grandma smokes’ story and my family has The Mickey Mouse Pillow Incident of 1994. We still talk about it all the damn time and it always devolves into fuckface this! and pigsnout that!

    So, yeah :)

  2. my brother and i definitely do the self-deprecation thing, both often and thoroughly. But we’re more likely to tell each other ridiculous lies.

    Me: Can I borrow that sweatshirt?
    Him: No
    Me: Why?
    Him: Because it’s like my only sweatshirt.
    Me staring….
    Him: Okay maybe not. But it could be and that’s what counts.

    Me: what are you doing?
    Him: redesigning the Eiffel Tower.

    Me: So Frank is making booze cake, R is making bacon mashed potatoes, what should I make?
    Him: a doody in your pants

  3. My sister’s name is officially SnotFace. its on her birth certificate.

  4. When Older Slackbrother J and I would be writing together, people would be afraid to come in our office because there was a lot of yelling and they would assume we were fighting. I had to explain that when it was quiet, they should be nervous.

  5. vintagecaveman

    I picked the phone awhile back:

    My brother: Hey shortbus
    Me: Hey asshat

  6. betheboy

    There’s a Vintage Cave Brother?

  7. I’m so gonna be calling people Shortbus now.

  8. I haven’t called my brother anything but munch since he was 13. It used to be assmunch, but my grandmother about stroked out after hearing it once, so for the last 20 years it’s just been munch.

  9. My brother and I are truly awful to each other.

    Once, when I was much younger, we ran into a boy I had a tremendous crush on. It was the day after Thanksgiving. The Crush asked how my Thanksgiving dinner was and my brother replied, “She came out at dinner last night.”

    When I met my brother’s current girlfriend I asked her if had already warned her about the awful fungus on his balls?

  10. @Lola: The only problem with your retort is that it implies that you have knowledge of your brother’s balls.

    Also, “you brother’s balls” may be the most disgusting phrase I’ve typed in the past 24 hours.

    I guess I’m no longer the classy one.

  11. Jo Mama

    I’d like to say that I’m crying my eyes out over George Carlin, but most of the tears are because I read moving on down, and the responses.

    Some fun facts you may not know:
    – The Gov’t cheese came from grandma Jinny. She bought it hot from some guy at work, 5 dollars a brick. Which is funny seeing that it’s free.

    Thank you, it really made me feel good.
    Lovin’ you. Go food shopping.

  12. betheboy

    (that last comment is from my actual moms)
    Mom- Glad i could make your day better. You did good you know.

    I’ve got one question though. Grandma was paying for FREE food, that someone had stolen? No wonder we were so poor.

  13. I sometimes forget that Chanel’s name isn’t actually Ass.

  14. My brother and I haven’t called each other anything but Dork for about 20 years. He and my mom call each other Jerk. Funny how he’s the one everyone calls names.

  15. this is how my family speaks to each other too. other families in which people are polite and smile and nod make me nervous.

    if people can make it through my “family” then they are usually keepers.

  16. p.s. vcm: it just keeps getting better and better with you doesn’t it?

  17. Not only do my brother and I still insult each other’s hygiene, ability to get laid, looks, intellect, and yes, mom, we also still punch the shit out of each other every time we get together.

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