Celebrity Fake Out

Nina and I both had a rough day on Friday, she worked a hundred jobs, my car died while I was getting lunch and we capped it off by writing a check for the rent. By the time the evening came around we were a lot poorer than when the day began, down to one car and hungry. We were in need of some kind of comfort so we headed out to the least authentic Mexican restaurant we could find, the kind with cheap food and gigantic margaritas. While the place is inexpensive it happens to be located in a fancy part of town and it does a lot of tourist business. On Friday night we were seated next to a group of college students who, judging by their accents, were from New Jersey. As we’re eating, Nina and I notice that the kids keep looking over at us in that “we’re trying not be obvious but we’re totally looking at you” sort of way one by one they all pretend to be looking around the room and then fixing their gaze at us. I check to make sure that I’m not looking more funny than usual and it all checks out ok so I assume that they are thinking. “She is way too hot for him, I wonder if he won a contest to go out with her”. This continues for a while and clearly the kids think that either Nina or I are “someone” but we’re not sure which of us they are looking at. Finally, Nina gets up to use the ladies room and when she does they don’t turn to see, they keep looking at me, now all by myself at the table drinking a margarita through a straw out of a ridiculously fruity looking glass (it truly was ridiculous). The kids at the next table not only have mistaken me for someone famous but they now think that some famous person is a girl drink drunk. However, when I get up they all turn to watch me walk to the men’s room.

Now this brings up a dilemma, the kids think I’m someone I’m not and I want to know who they think I am but the only way to find out is to tell them that I’m not that person. I decide to just let them think whatever they want; still I wish I knew who they were mistaking me for. After conferring with my wife we narrowed it down to the following possibilities:

1) A News Radio era Andy Dick



2) The Daily Show’s John Hodgman



Other possibilities include:

Anthony Michael Hall in the Breakfast Club:

Billy Zabka in The Karate Kid

The 1985 version of James Spader (suggested by Annika):

This all reminds me of a conversation I had a few years ago with the girl with the crazy eye who once worked at the coffee place near my house:

Crazy Eye: You look so familiar
Me: Really? I don’t think we’ve met outside of this line…I was here last week
Crazy Eye: No…you look like an actor
Me: Oh, I’m not. Hopefully a talented and attractive actor
Crazy Eye: No, I was thinking of the other kind. No one special
Me: Yeah I get that a lot. You know, the old “You don’t look special” Well… thanks.


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