The story I wanted to tell you started like this:
Many years ago I spent Christmas night at the home of my then girlfriend with her family. We had already gone to see my family and when we got back to her house we poured drinks…..
That’s how it started and it ends with her brother and me drinking gin and tonics in the kitchen, listening to a rebroadcast of Game Six of the 1986 World Series. I’m pretty sure that this happened in 1996 but when I tried to write it down today I discovered a huge hole in the story…I don’t know what happened to my then girlfriend once we got home, no matter how many times I rerun the story in my head she never shows up after we get home. What was intended as a nice story about Christmas night turned into a story about how I was too wrapped up in a ten year old baseball game to pay attention to where my girlfriend had gone; Did she leave, was in another room the whole time? I have no idea so I scrapped the story because it made me feel like a jerk but it reminded me that there are a lot of details that get left out of these holiday stories I’ve been telling. They don’t get left out because they aren’t interesting or funny, they just don’t always fit into the blogging format, I know that you’re probably reading this at work or you’re in the middle of a thousand things at home so I like to get my point across quickly and in the process the non essential things get cut out. It’s like making a movie in that sense, but thanks to DVD’s we are all able to see the things that get deleted from movies so I figured I’d go back over some of the holiday stories to tell you some of the things I didn’t mention.
In the story of the Christmas Midget I left out the fact that there was also a guest who had a tracheotomy so in addition to a midget there was a guy who talked like a robot.
The story of my father and holiday dentistry ends with him telling me to call my mother, which I did. My mother in fact did get me to a dentist for some emergency work. We had to leave the office immediately afterwards to finish her Christmas shopping. So, we went shopping…while I was still under anesthesia, unable to speak clearly and bleeding from the mouth. It was an awful experience but we got done in time.
In the story about getting my first record player I left out the part about my brother’s Christmas list…the last item he asked for was, and I’m quoting him directly “A King Hat”. For some reason that request always makes me smile.
I can use a smile today and I hate almost everything about the world at this moment.