Candy and Some Things of Note

Long before I became the jerk I am today, I was a good kid, really I was. Just like the other good kids I had to participate in fund raisers for various for things such as the cub scouts, little league etc. The fund raising involved me taking a box of candy or stickers and going door to door, selling them to the neighbors but parents don’t let kids do this anymore. Apparently, today’s kids are too good to be molested by the neighbors. So, since the kids aren’t selling candy it seems to have fallen to the parents to bring in boxes of candy and merchandise into my office and try to get me to buy stuff. Usually this involves a box of candy left in the kitchen with a note and a picture of their retarded kids. Then there’s an envelope where you’re supposed to leave money. I hate this for two reasons:

1- My parent’s would never have done this.
2- I feel guilty for ten seconds every time I take the candy without paying.

Now that you know I’m a candy stealing jerk here are a few things you should check out:

My wife is on strike. Not on strike from having a fine ass though.

Boobs Radley offers helpful tips for those who hate our freedom.

– A video I haven’t seen in a while about a man and his talking monkey.

– Finally, Maybe that door marked Pirate.

Have a good weekend, stay out of trouble.


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Filed under General Tomfoolery

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