Get Back Here With My Candy

Those of us who are old enough to remember the 1980’s as more than a VH1 series probably remember that in the early part of the decade there was a huge scare involving Tylenol capsules being laced with cyanide, I was little kid but I remember that several people died and it was quite scary. It also happened around Halloween and so my mother announced that she’s be inspecting all of our candy to make sure it hadn’t been tampered with. This seemed strange to me because:

1- Most of the doors we were knocking on were relatives and
2- None of them were handing out Tylenol capsules

Still, after getting home from trick or treating my mom sat us all down, emptied out our candy bags and went through each piece; checking the packaging, holding it up to the light and doing things that looked really serious to my eight year old self. She pulled a Mini Snickers bar from my candy pile and looked at it carefully before saying

“You know, bad people put razors and pins into candy bars so that kids get hurt”
-“Really?”
“Uh huh, and you won’t even know it”
-“Really?”
“Yeah…I’m going to take these candy bars just to make sure you’re safe.”

As you probably have guessed, there were no razors or pins and this was a clever ruse she had devised to steal my candy. The difference between you and me is that it took me another 15 years to figure that fact out.

Happy Halloween, for today I highly recommend watching the classic Mr. Show sketch Monster Parties: Fact or Fiction

In the words of James Whitcroft; “The Mummy is drunk and he loves to fuck”.

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Special thanks to The Daily Randi who reminded me of the Tylenol and Candy connection.

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