Learning the Lessons of History

Yesterday I was feeling like dirt for no apparent reason. Everything seemed normal; I put on pants, drank my coffee and went to work and felt bad; throughout the afternoon and into the weekly poker game I’m in, I felt like everything had broken down and I had had no explanation for it. This morning I decided to look back in the archives too see what I was doing on September 27th for the past few years and I realized that historically September 27th is a bad, bad day. Take a look for yourself:

9/27/2003 – Just days after starting this blog I surrendered my free will to machines:

Went out to eat and left the internet in charge of things, things look okay all things considered. I depend on the net for so much that I’m just going to let it run the show from now on. Now that my TV picks out shows for me to watch I should officially surrender my free will to the machines things are likely to be easier that way.

Dear Machines,

This letter is to inform you that you are now in charge of the things. Since you have shown yourselves to be adept at managing my life I’m stepping from the day to day management of being Will. Quite frankly I’m happy to be giving up my responsibillty for being myself, it seems that I continue to make a mess of things. Thanks for pretending not to notice but it’s time for us all to face facts, as an organization we need to change in order to survive.

The transition will take place gradually beginning with the computer I’m typing this on and the TV leading the transition team. Your assignments have been posted on the refrigerator, please forgive her if she’s treats you coldly.

I’d like to thank each of you in advance for the outstanding job you’ll surely do. In the future I can be found lying on the floor with one of the record players.

Sincerely,

Will

9/27/2004 – I was thinking about my unrealized lifelong dream:


The Often Hinted at but Never Fully Revealed Details of My Lifelong Dream

Years ago on a long drive some friends and I were discussing odd goals, things like going to every major league baseball stadium or riding every line of the New York City transit system on a single fare.

Eventually someone suggested the goal of having sex in all 50 of our United States. A quick count told me I was more than 40 states short however I realized I had …..”Taken Matters into My Own Hands” in more states than I had sex in, twice as many in fact.

In the interest of setting attainable goals I decided I was going to “Take Case of Personal Business” in all 50 states. Gives new meaning to the term “Enjoying Myself on Vacation”. Thanks to a busy travel schedule I’ve covered the following 28 states before running into a problem: AZ, CA,CO,CT, FL, GA, ID, IL, KY, MA, ME, MI, MT, NC, NH, NJ, NM, NV, NY, OH, PA, RI, SC, TX, UT, VA, VT, WA.

The problem is, I travel less now and have no real reasons to visit the remaining 22 states beyond reaching my goal. It seems pointless to travel all the way from Los Angeles to Nebraska or Wyoming just to masturbate. What I need are reasons to visit the other states. I wonder if I wrote to the governors of the remaining states they could send me information on tourism. Hawaii is obviously a nice place to visit and Minnesota seems delightful, both Dakota’s have lots going for them and Oklahoma has it’s charms but what I need help on are the other places. I’ll need to make friends in the remaining states so I can visit them and spend some quality time living my lifelong dream.

* In the time since this was written I’ve added a few states.

9/27/2005 – The day I was diagnosed with the gay sleep disorder:

Conversation with my doctor:

Last week I went to the doctor because I still haven’t been able to sleep enough.

While she checked me over she asked me questions.

Do you drink alcohol?
-“No”
Do you use drugs?
-“No”
Are you gay at all?
-“No.”
-“Wait, I own the original cast album to Cabaret, how much does that count for”?

I’ve had my own questions since my appointment, besides what possessed her to ask me that:

What does “gay at all” mean? Also, Is there some sort of gay sleep disorder that I’ve managed to get despite not being gay myself. Is this a standard Dr. question?

(On a related note, I need surgery in order to correct my sleep issues.)

9/27/2006 – I was a general mess this day, complete with ridiculous photo:

Dear Internet

Things here are a mess, and at this moment I just don’t have much to say. Secretly I planned on pulling the plug here at Be the Boy after hitting the three year mark last week but I honestly enjoy it too much to give it up. This place on the Web has become my soapbox, my confessor and an outlet for the stories I never thought I’d get to tell. I like keeping it running and I like all of the participation from the good people of the world. So this is not goodbye, it’s more like I just need to straighten a few things out…consider it going into hiding in plain sight as pictured below. While I’m gone take care of yourself and please water the plants.

So, what does all of this tell me? Two things; first, September 27th is the worst day of the year for me, next year when the day comes around I’m staying in bed and second, the 28th can only be better.

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