Don’t Read This If You’re Married to Me

Hey wife of mine….I said DON’T read this. Can you go to another room for a second? Have a drink, I don’t care if it’s 10 AM, you work hard so drink up.

OK, I think she’s gone…now that we got her out of the room there are some problems that I need you, the internet, to help me out with.

Here goes, I’m starting to get worried because my wife’s birthday is coming up in less than two weeks. While I knew Nina on her last birthday we weren’t gift giving friends yet, in fact we weren’t giving each other anything yet because we didn’t actually met in person until a month after her birthday (for those of you keeping score at home that means we got married six months after we met).

So here’s my first question. When my wife says “You don’t have to get me anything for my birthday” that’s a lie right?

Assuming that the answer to that question is YES, GET A GIFT, then I have a second problem, I’m a bad gift giver because I assume that everyone like robots and porn. So my second question is this…if you were married to me what would you want from the robot porn store or should I shop somewhere else?

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