I’ll Show You Tragedy

Last week, HBO announced that Flight of the Conchords was being picked up for a second season and I’m very happy about this. There have been two times in my life when I was this excited about TV related press releases, once was when the fledgling FOX network announced plans for a show starring Chris Elliot as a 30 year old paperboy and the other one was when my mom told me that Bo and Luke were returning to the Dukes of Hazzard.

As some of you may remember the rest of you have probably read about, in 1982, at the height of the shows popularity the two stars held out for more money and the network called their bluff replacing them with similar looking actors who played the boys cousins. I don’t recall exactly how they explained this change it on the show, either they went to become NASCAR drivers or they were busted for child porn, but it didn’t matter how they tried to pass it off on us, it was the worst thing that ever happened to me up until that point in my life. My dog died? Who cares, that was nothing compared to the tragedy of the fake Dukes of Hazzard. After all, I was eight years old, so I had nothing else going on. The same week I learned of the cast change my parents told me that the “trial separation” they were having was becoming permanent; you can probably guess what I was more upset about. Still, I tried to watch but it was awful, even as an eight year old I knew suck when I saw it. For the sake of perspective let’s compare the change in the cast to Van Halen; the Vance and Coy Duke episodes were just like Van Halen because they sucked. Luckily the network and the stars reached an agreement and the original Duke boys came back about two thirds into the season, again the details of the return were hazy either they were released from prison or they were humiliated by their failure on the NASCAR circuit and came back broken men but I didn’t care how it happened I was just glad they were back.

There was one thing I never understood though, if Bo and Luke left to become race car drivers, why did they leave their car behind? How would they have gotten out of town? It makes no sense which is why I have the alternate prison theory. The NASCAR thing just seems improbable anyway as they couldn’t both be in the car during the race and there are very few ramps on a regulation NASCAR track. The more you look at it the clearer it becomes that the boys went to jail and it was just hushed up.

Note: In the interest of fairness, I have to admit that the cousins episodes were better that the ones in the final season when an alien landed in Hazzard.

P.S. – Confidential to the person who has been looking up their last name in the archives: If you’re looking for something, just ask, the email address is in the profile.

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