A Break In The Usual Tomfoolery for the Old Open Letter

I have resisted writing this post for a few days but I can’t put it off any longer.

Sometime last week someone sent an anonymous email to my wife with information that was intended to make me look bad. I’m paraphrasing the email but it said something like:

“Dear Mrs. Slack-BetheBoy,

Before you and your husband met used to talk to other girls…and I saw his wenis. He is no good.”

Now my wife, being a reasonable person, realizes that while the things that this person mentioned are true, they happened before we met and have no relevance to today. So she replied to the anonymous sender “Thanks for the concern but I think he’s fab”. Since then the anonymous sender has turned her anger (via several emails) on Nina whose only fault apparently is not knowing me soon enough because trust me, had I know her sooner no one else would have been looking at my wenis.

My wife explains this all much better on her site (see here) and I have challenged the sender to contact me and reveal themselves, but they have, not surprisingly, failed to do this.

Now it is common knowledge that I have at times I’ve been an asshole, done stupid things and hurt people. I take full responsibility for everything I have done in my life, I write about it and I’ve tried to make amends for it. Prior to getting married to me, my wife knew exactly the person I’ve been; more importantly she knows who I am today. For the anonymous sender to think that the letter would change anything between Nina and I they would need to make two incredible leaps of logic:

1- That my wife never read my blog archives where I openly discuss other girls.
2 – That my wife never asked me about a single thing that happened before we met.

In the universe our anonymous writer, I tricked my wife with magic potion and somehow this letter would be the kiss to set her free. To the anonymous person I can only say: You have no idea who or what I am but I may know who you are. While every word you said to my wife about my past is true, every word of speculation about my life today is off base; just like every unkind word you directed at her is complete bullshit. You must know these things but simply choose to ignore them or you wouldn’t be sitting at home (presumably alone) sending off anonymous emails.

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