Monday Part 1 – Sale Days Jail Days
For three out of the last four weeks one of my crazy upstairs neighbors has been holding questionable yard sales. At first I didn’t mind, we all need to get rid of stuff and there’s nothing wrong with making a few bucks in the process even if he dresses like a prospector (flannel shirt, khakis floppy hat and suspenders) and makes elaborate signs to advertise the happenings. But now, four weeks after the sale started it’s still going on and there are three things that are making me very uncomfortable; here they are in order, from least annoying to making me very upset.
1 – Every week there is more stuff for sale – you would expect that his inventory of junk would be diminishing not growing, but it just keeps getting bigger. Where is he getting this stuff?
2- It’s possible he’s a murderer – Stranger than the growing inventory are the items themselves, it’s mostly camping gear or children’s toys and clothes, that just strikes me as very creepy. If I didn’t see him nearly every day I’d think he was going camping, murdering children and then selling off the evidence at a yard sale so that no one could trace it back to him* (Note to self – write story about a guy going camping, murdering children and then selling off the evidence at a yard sale so that no one could trace it back to him, call it The Stabby Yard Sale).
3- As of this morning, there are couches out in front of my house. This, in my opinion, is the worst offense because it’s not like the couches are on the curb awaiting pickup, they are up against the house right outside my window, as if it were the set to some hobo talk show. I had enough problems with hobos last year and I’m not doing that again. The Slackmistress and I have worked hard to add a touch of class to the place and few things evoke less class than couches on the lawn. I’m hoping that when I get home they will be gone.
Monday Part 2 –Notes from the Weekend
1 – On Friday I was contacted by someone who used to appear in this blog from time to time. It had been a long, long time and it’s safe to say she was the last person I expected to hear from. She wanted to congratulate me and send good wishes. Confidential to that person: Thanks and I’m glad you are doing better.
2- So far we have gotten an amazing response to our wedding web cast invite so we have decided to take it to the next level: The Slackmistress has details and instructions on how you too can see it at her site.