Kissing the Foolish

From now on I’m going to have to pretend to be retarded for 8 hours a day, or at least more retarded than I usually am. It all started yesterday when I was leaving work…(I’d appreciate it if you pictured a flashback dissolve and some harp music here)… I had just wrapped up my day and I was leaving the office. Most of the time I’m lost in my thoughts and yesterday afternoon was just like any other day, I was pondering the important issue of How Many Chicken Wings I Could Eat in an Hour when I realized I was making the face, the thinking face, the one where I furrow my brow and pucker my lips. If you’ve never witnessed the Be the Boy thinking face looks like I want to kiss you but I’m really unhappy about it.

Normally the thinking face is no problem but at the moment I was making it yesterday I I caught the eye of one of the top company execs who saw me and then did a double take when she saw I was making very angry kissy faces at her. As soon as she looked at me the second time I knew why and I had to make a choice…If I stop making the face and smile she might think I was coming on to her and suggesting that we make out in some deeply concerning way BUT if I keep making the face she’ll just think I’m retarded. My father always says it’s better to be a retard with a job than get a sexual harassment suit thrown at you, so now I’ll just have to make this face all day every day until one of us leaves the company.

Is it 5 o’ Clock yet?


You should click the box below, register and vote for someone, maybe even me. It will only take a minute and it will make you feel like you did your part to support democracy without having to stand in a gymnasium. The Slackmistress is nominated in several categories and I just nominated Aquarium Drunk in the Best Podcast category.

My site was nominated for Best Humor Blog!


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