A Lesson From an Old Story

Lately this blog of mine has been squarely focused on my home and romantic situations and I’m sure that everyone understands why. Last week someone (my sister) complained that I no longer was funny (if I ever was to begin with) and told me that I love and domestic bliss had made me soft. She’s got a point, the tone has changed lately but only because I have been genuinely enjoying life, something I wasn’t able to do for more than brief periods before. Check the archives and see, the past few years were pretty uneven but the present is steady. Is this because of the Slackmistress? Yes and No. I think I was already finding my balance when she and I met but she has helped keep me steady since.

I’m saying this today because for the first time in a while I feel a little off, it will pass I’m sure but in the meantime here are two stories that somehow have never been told here.

At around age 8, in the third grade, my class given a surprise math test. I hated math then and still do, mostly because I can’t do anything beyond long division and even that only with great difficulty. Normally we had plenty of notice that there was going to be a test but on this day someone we had never met before walked into class and started handing out ditto papers full of questions. Our teacher explained that this test would not count towards our grade but we should answer as best we could. I had heard about these types of test and I figured I had better do well on it even if I didn’t know why.

Looking the test over I was stumped, this wasn’t even stuff we had done in class! This wasn’t even on 3-2-1- Contact…I was screwed…so I cheated. Yes I cheated on the test that didn’t count, and by looking papers of the students around me I answered every question correctly and was selected for the third grade Math Olympiad Team.

Basically as Math Olympiads we would meet once a week in a special classroom with the man who distributed the tests. It turned out he was going to train us to compete against other students in special math games. This sucked, I got a perfect score on my test and I was “rewarded” with a spot on the math team…who knew cheating could have negative consequences.

Each week we’d meet up with this teacher who would give us list of problems and for several weeks I handed them back with wrong answers. If I remember correctly I got one question right in the entire first month before it was determined that I was just no good at math. For two weeks after that, while the other kids worked out problems I was given a calculator to play with; during this time I learned to write “BOOBS” in numbers. Finally I was told that I would now be a “Math Olympiad Alternate” and would no longer need to attend math practice which was alright with me. That incident taught me a valuable lesson though; “when cheating at something, make it seem realistic”. That’s some free advice that you can use.

*I promised two stories but only wrote one (as aliastaken pointed out). I just ran out of time for today so the second one will have to wait.

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