Our Regular Saturday Night Thing

It’s been a few days since I’ve updated and there is a lot to catch up on so I’ll have to do it Weekend Wrap up style, please pardon the lack of a coherent narrative.

By the time Friday evening rolled around I was exhausted from the work week but I got home to find a girl, a dog waiting for me. Domestic living suits me just fine and the house looks better than it ever has before. While I never considered myself messy my apartment clearly needed a lot of TLC and that is exactly what The Slack has provided, especially to the kitchen which is now clean and filled top to bottom with cookware, baking supplies and kitchen porn.

On Saturday morning we continued the home makeover, hanging artwork (some of evil robots) and continuing to organize. We basically have everything that we can do at this time completed. What is stopping us from finishing the entire place you ask? Good question…in our way is 195 pounds of pain in the ass known as my temporary roommate. On January 5th I explained that Ms. Slack was moving in and that he needed to find a new place. Common courtesy dictates that I give 30 days notice so I expected that his time at my place would overlap into February, and I was prepared for this, I was not prepared for drunk girls yelling things in my hallway in the middle of the night (I have a girl who can do that if I wanted someone to) or for him to be less than pro-active about the moving process. While I think he’s a nice guy I want him out, I want my second bedroom free and I want it now, more on this in a second.

After running a quick errand we came home to find a package at the door. Those of you who have read this blog in the past may recall a story about my great grandmother and how she made pizzelles, which are traditional Italian cookies. Well my father continues this tradition by making them and sending them to me. We sipped coffee and ate pizzelles, a nice way to spend a late morning.

On Saturday night I took The Slack to meet some friends but not before the following conversation:

Me- “They just got home; they were at a briss and then a basketball game”
Slack – “A Briss, did they catch the foreskin?”
Me – “………….do they throw it”
Slack – “Yes, it’s good luck”
Me – “Really”
Slack – (now Laughing at me uncontrollably) “No”

It seemed reasonable enough to me, OK. Having dated Jewish women and having several friends who are among the chosen peeps I wondered why I had never heard of this tradition and the reason was that it was made up. Maybe this can be worked in somehow.

The meeting of friends went well and she didn’t tell that story.

Sunday morning, Super Bowl Sunday and while I paid no attention to the pre game hype I was excited for the game but first there was an incident. Ms. Slack woke up first and came back to the bedroom to inform me that the door to the house was left open…our door faces the street and of course everything we own was just left up for grabs all night. Now of course being safety conscious, responsible adults I can tell you that we locked the door before going to bed but someone came home and decided that safety wasn’t an issue. They also clearly felt that driving sober was also a low priority as was cleanliness because the floor was covered in Taco Bell wrappers. While I didn’t give a breathalyzer I doubt that any sober person would eat Taco Bell at 2 am and leave the door unlocked. In addition and he decided to make use of Ms. Slacks laptop without permission a BIG no-no in my book. Do what you want to my things but don’t put my girl at risk, and don’t touch anything of hers. So I stepped outside to gather my thoughts and then banged on his door to let him have it. He didn’t answer so I just walked right in and let him know in no uncertain terms that he fucked up and my patience was through. Shortly afterwards he quietly left and was not seen for the rest of the day.

With the problem temporarily gone from the premises Ms. Slack and I sat down to do something that friends and family have been asking us to do since we announced our plans. We created a wedding registry, something we have resisted because we have everything we need for the house. For some reason people keep asking us anyway so here it is…our registry (yes we know that it’s filled with video games and robots).

Finally, that afternoon, the younger Slackbrother came over to watch the game with us (they are Bears fans). We ate way too much of Ms. Slack’s homemade chili and the homemade guacamole, and also the chocolate covered macaroons I brought home. Unfortunately for the Slacks the Bears lost the game but we did get to enjoy the Puppy Bowl during breaks in the game. In the evening, after her brother was gone we sat comfortably in our own home, put on the TV and discovered that Roadhouse was on. Good times, a terrific ending to a mostly good weekend.

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2 Comments

Filed under General Tomfoolery

2 responses to “

  1. Ron Low

    I wish I could laugh about the non-consensual, irreversible, and risky amputation of the best part of someone’s genitals.

    That would be freeing.

  2. betheboy

    Ron, this is not the place to push your agenda.

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