Some readers of this blog, like JustJENN and Karen are encouraging me to use Twitter and I’m not about to do it, not because I don’t trust them though. I have a Twitter account but I don’t use it because there’s no reason that anyone cares what I’m doing minute to minute, at least I hope no one wants to know what I’m doing minute to minute. If you only know me from this blog you might think that my life is a non stop parade of midgets, robots, midget robots, detective work with my wife, trampolines and dirty magazines but you’d only be right on two of those. There’s a lot of time that I spend doing nothing special at all, for example here’s what I would Twitter on an average morning:

7:20 AM – Scanning coffee shop staff for lazy eyes.
7:55 AM – Cursing traffic
8:12 AM – Hope no one notices I’m getting fat
8:15 AM – Work stuff

See, it’s boring. I’d much rather just update this thing once a day with a story or something ridiculous and call leave it at that. It’s one stop shopping for all of your midgets, robots, midget robots, detective work with my wife, trampolines and dirty magazines needs. I appreciate you coming here, I hope you like it.

Speaking of detective work, I was on the phone with an old friend yesterday and she says “I have to be careful; I know you have your little detective agency over there” but I have to come clean on something…I’m the worst detective in the house, most of the real sleuthing is done by my wife (who is on blogging hiatus), I’m only dressing the part and using it as an excuse to smoke. She is the one who discovered who had been peeing in our bushes and she is the one who always tracks down facts and unlocks mysteries for me…needless to say I am quite pleased with her work.

You know what’s great if you’re geek like me? Waking up to find that something you wrote is on one of your favorite blogs, go take a look over at Aquarium Drunkard to see something I wrote about Johnny Thunders and The Heartbreakers.

For those of you coming here from Aquarium Drunkard, here’s a crash course in Be the Boy. I live in Los Angeles with my wife the Slackmistress in an apartment converted into an imaginary detective agency.

I have occasional run-in’s with little people.

Frequently, I write about music in my life, but I often talk about my family and hobos.

The most frequently searched term that leads to this blog, brings the reader to this story.

I have been told I have a gay sleep disorder.

That’s probably all you need to know to get started. Make yourself at home and let me know if you have any questions.

Before you go, here are a few places to check out:

1 – Have you been to Passive Aggressive Notes? You may want to try it, I’d hate to have to make you go. I appreciate your cooperation in this matter.

2- I’m a big baseball fan so I’m always looking for new perspectives on my favorite team, the NY Mets. If you’ve ever said to yourself “the typical Mets blog isn’t snarky enough and not nearly gay enough” have I got a place for you: Go here for a great Mets blog. It’s like sitting in the bleachers with your dad, if your dad was funny and liked guys.

As inspired by this girl here are 10 things that suck and 5 things that don’t:

10 Things That Suck

1- Nazis – I just don’t like Nazis
2- Dining with Midgets – Still can’t do that
3- How I look on camera – ridiculous
4- When a friend’s dad gets dirty in the comments – see video below

5- My poker skills – awful
6- Wedding- planning – Stressful and I’m doing the easy stuff
7- I still have no robot butler
8- Still 656 days until Bush leaves office
9- My fantasy baseball team – not yet but give it time
10- Dan Marino/Don Shula (tie)

5 Things That are Great

5- Tulsa, Oklahoma
4- Fake detective agencies
3-This as a wedding ring
2- Robots on trampolines
1- The Slackmistress