If there is anyone reading this…hello again. It’s been a while since I’ve written here, even longer than I realized. The last post is from August 2011 but it’s been a few years since I’ve regularly written anything here.
Honestly I never expected to come back. Let’s back up for a second so I can explain.
Back in 2003 BeTheBoy began on Blogspot. I transferred it to WordPress a few years later and kept it active through most of 2009.
When I began this blog in 2003 my only goal was to write regularly and maybe tell a few stories. There was no thought at first of anyone else reading what I was doing but in time some people did. Later on I met some of those people and I eventually married one of them. This was an unexpected benefit of blogging but it was not the only one.
At some point in 2006 my father discovered my blog. I never told him about it because I sometimes wrote about him and my relationship with him and he didn’t always look great (neither did I). I’m not sure how he found it but that doesn’t matter; he found it and he read it all. I assumed that he would be angry but he wasn’t. Instead of driving a wedge between us it opened things up between us. With everything on the table we began to finally talk and as a result we healed a lot of old wounds and moved past a lot of things that really didn’t matter all that much.
From then on I continued to talk about my father but he became an active participant in the story which made me really happy. Just knowing that he was out there reading was pretty cool.
Blogging had helped me build a relationship with my father so when he died unexpectedly in 2009 I felt like this blog had died too.
For a while I kept it going by talking about him but it was hard for me to keep this going when I knew that he wasn’t going to be checking in to see what I was up to. Since my heart just wasn’t in it anymore, I tried to go forward without this blog. I moved onto some other things and thought that was the end of the story here, but I might have been wrong.
A few weeks ago I was back in my hometown and I found myself on my father’s street, looking at his old house for the first time since he had passed away. As sad as it was to see it sitting there, empty and deteriorating, I could see it wasn’t the place where my father and I used to live anymore; it was just a thing.
When I got back home to LA I thought about another thing my father and I shared and how it too was siting empty, waiting for someone to do something with it. Unlike the house there are no legal and financial issues in the way of maintaining this blog so here I am again.