What Am I Up To?

Some readers of this blog, like JustJENN and Karen are encouraging me to use Twitter and I’m not about to do it, not because I don’t trust them though. I have a Twitter account but I don’t use it because there’s no reason that anyone cares what I’m doing minute to minute, at least I hope no one wants to know what I’m doing minute to minute. If you only know me from this blog you might think that my life is a non stop parade of midgets, robots, midget robots, detective work with my wife, trampolines and dirty magazines but you’d only be right on two of those. There’s a lot of time that I spend doing nothing special at all, for example here’s what I would Twitter on an average morning:

7:20 AM – Scanning coffee shop staff for lazy eyes.
7:55 AM – Cursing traffic
8:12 AM – Hope no one notices I’m getting fat
8:15 AM – Work stuff

See, it’s boring. I’d much rather just update this thing once a day with a story or something ridiculous and call leave it at that. It’s one stop shopping for all of your midgets, robots, midget robots, detective work with my wife, trampolines and dirty magazines needs. I appreciate you coming here, I hope you like it.

Speaking of detective work, I was on the phone with an old friend yesterday and she says “I have to be careful; I know you have your little detective agency over there” but I have to come clean on something…I’m the worst detective in the house, most of the real sleuthing is done by my wife (who is on blogging hiatus), I’m only dressing the part and using it as an excuse to smoke. She is the one who discovered who had been peeing in our bushes and she is the one who always tracks down facts and unlocks mysteries for me…needless to say I am quite pleased with her work.